Frequently Asked Questions About The Most Effective Psychotherapist For Your Relationship

Struggling with mental health issues is challenging in itself. What more if you’re in a relationship? Aside from yourself, there’s also your partner in accounting for and caring for.

Just like our physical well-being, taking care of our mental health is important too. There may be a time where we find it hard to process emotions, think clearly, or express what we feel. Mental health disorders can affect all aspects of our lives, including our relationships.


Finding a partner who can understand and accept us is a gift for those with mental health issues. If it’s the other way around, we should try our best to be that caring partner.

You don’t have to carry burdens alone in a relationship. However, we shouldn’t expect our loved ones to be our therapists. They should be people we can turn to for help and support when we need it. 

Sometimes, mental health problems can put pressure on our relationships. Although conflict and disagreements are usual, mental health issues can complicate these. Misunderstandings due to difficulties in expressing ourselves can take a toll on both parties.

Other problems such as overdependence, negative self-talk, and insecurities may also arise. Lastly, we can also say hurtful things that we don’t mean to say.

After talking this through with your partner, the next step you can take is seeking professional help. Diagnosis and treatment are essential to lead a happy and healthy life. In treating your mental health problem, psychotherapy can be an option.

Psychotherapy is a general term for treatment by psychiatrists and other mental health professionals. It aims to help you process your thoughts and emotions as well as plan strategies to manage these.

A diversity of mental health issues such as mood disorders and personality disorders use psychotherapy as treatment. A form of psychotherapy you might be familiar with is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).

Being a widely accepted form of treatment, the outlook of receiving psychotherapy is generally reasonable. Numerous studies have proven how effective it is. However, keep in mind that professional consultation is a must before receiving any form of treatment.

You may still have a lot of questions running through your mind about psychotherapy. Read on to know more about this treatment method and if it’s viable for you or your partner.

How do I choose a psychotherapist?

First, look for a psychotherapist that you feel most comfortable with. Spend time to talk to various therapists until you discover one who is warm and understanding. It should be someone who matches your personality and the circumstance you are in, someone who is respectful of your opinions.

Which type of therapy is most likely to be the most effective in treating depression?

Studies have revealed that cognitive-behavioral therapy is as effective as taking antidepressant medications in managing depression. CBT tremendously helps the patient think more clearly and eradicate the several negative thoughts that come with depression.

What kind of therapy do you believe is most effective? Why?

Many people agree that a blended strategy – one that utilizes the various schools of psychotherapy – is best for them. There are several psychotherapy types, but the two most widely used are cognitive behavioral therapy and psychodynamic therapy.

What is the most important factor in the success of psychotherapy?

The most vital part of effective therapy is that the client and the therapist work hand in hand to help them attain their therapy goals. Some psychotherapists are consistent in producing outstanding outcomes compared to others, regardless of patient personalities and treatment plans.

How do I know if a therapist is right for me?

There are three important things that you must feel to know whether or not your therapist is the right choice for you – competence, safety, and a complete sense of connection. You should feel that you can fully trust your therapist, and you can be honest with him.

Additionally, your therapist should also be capable of establishing a judgment-free zone where the patient can liberally express how he thinks or feels.

What are the four types of psychotherapy?

The various psychotherapy approaches include behavior therapy, integrative or holistic therapy, cognitive therapy, and humanistic therapy.

What are the four types of talk therapy?

The four types of talk therapy include cognitive behavioral therapy, counseling, interpersonal therapy, and guided self-help.

What therapy is best for anxiety?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the most commonly recommended therapy in treating anxiety disorders. Studies have shown that it effectively manages phobias, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety disorder, among other mental health conditions.


Is psychotherapy better than Counseling?

Counseling could be a more suitable option than psychotherapy if you want to learn coping skills to better deal with stress and improve your relationships. It will also be a better choice if you have particular issues you need to address in the shorter term.

Finally, if you were coping with new adjustments like divorce or a loved one’s death, counseling would make a great option than psychotherapy.

Do psychotherapists diagnose?

Many psychotherapists cannot diagnose and prescribe medications. Their responsibility is limited to providing therapy and treatment to their mental health patients instead of making diagnoses.

What is the most successful therapy?

According to a guidelines report, CBT is the most studied field of psychotherapy for treating depression. It is believed to have the biggest bulk of evidence in terms of effectiveness.

What is the most common therapy?

There are many known types of psychotherapy. However, the two most widely used forms are cognitive behavioral therapy and psychodynamic therapy.

Does psychotherapy work?

Hundreds of clinical reports have documented that psychotherapy helps individuals create positive changes in the way they live. These reports also show that approximately 75% of individuals who have embraced psychotherapy have shown substantial improvements.


As much as we can, we try to exercise, eat right, and visit a doctor to make sure we’re healthy.  It shouldn’t be so different for our mental health. There is still a stigma with mental health issues and problems but don’t be discouraged by these. There’s nothing wrong with seeking help when times are getting rough.


It’s essential to be there for your partner when either one of you is experiencing mental health problems. A relationship built on trust, acceptance, and love can still face a lot of hardships. But with an open and understanding mind, you can overcome these difficulties. We can try to be a safe space where they can share what they feel or think.

You can also try to look after your partner by keeping note of possible signs of mental health problems. Common ones are general loss of interest, constant worrying and loneliness, binging food and alcohol, and severe mood swings.

When you see these signs, it might be a good idea to talk to your partner about them when they’re ready. If you’re both prepared, you may also find someone to provide professional help.

Psychotherapy can be a great option. Some of its forms are cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy. Whatever the approach, the goal is to help you process and manage your thoughts and emotions.

What specific treatment you’ll receive depends on your condition and recommendation by a mental health professional.  

For some, therapy may be difficult or uncomfortable at first, but it will get better with time. Feel free to open up at your own time and pace. Depending on your treatment plan, activities may vary. But in general, expect to face yourself.

Try to stick to your treatment plan and your therapist’s advice to get the best out of your sessions. Quick results are nearly impossible; getting better will take time. If you feel things are getting worse, talk to your therapist about this.

We should do our best to be there for our loved ones. Loving someone with a mental health disorder isn’t easy, but we can try to work things out. Through understanding and acceptance, you will indeed find healing together.

Finding A Partner Fit For Your Mental Health

They say you have to learn to love yourself before you learn to love others. But for those who struggle with mental health issues, hearing this may make them feel inadequate or inferior. So it’s vital to reassure them that although it is important to love yourself first, brokenness does not make you incapable of loving and feeling loved.

You can always use some company while you travel the path to accepting and loving yourself. A reliable support system can help you stay on track. Your family members, friends, mental health professionals, or even your significant other are great support sources.


Your journey to mental stability may not be as smooth as you want it to be. So make sure that you surround yourself with people who are suitable for your progress. Here are qualities you must look for when searching for someone great for both your heart and your mind.

Someone Who Can Understand Your Condition

The first step would be to find someone who can understand you and your condition. A partner should be someone you can confide in, so it is crucial to share health issues before plunging into a romantic relationship.

You don’t have to share your condition right away. You can enjoy the getting-to-know stage first. Once you feel you are ready for the next step, you can begin to open up about your mental health problem.

Sharing your condition does not mean heavily relying on your partner to make you feel better. Instead, your partner can help you go through your journey carefully. Remember, love doesn’t necessarily nor immediately heal you of your issues.

Letting your partner into your life means exposing them to the routines you already have including medications, therapy sessions, and support group meetings.

Someone Who Can Communicate Effectively

A right partner is also someone who can take steps to help you mend your issues. Communication is a critical component in a healthy relationship because it gives each person the liberty to express themselves without judgment. Find a partner who is willing to listen to you.

However, your needs are not the only ones that matter in a relationship. Communication is a two-way street, so be sure to also listen to your partner’s needs. Reflect on the opinion of your partner to know what you can also do to meet their needs. If you have different needs or perspectives, meet halfway if you can.


Communicating with your partner goes beyond merely listening and reflecting on your partner’s words. Notice their gestures and body language. Observe the little things they do when they narrate about their day at work or when they’re raising their concerns about you.

The little things can go far in helping you have an honest connection with each other. Communication also plays a role in avoiding stressful misunderstandings that can damage your mental health.

Someone Who Respects Your Boundaries

Even in intimate relationships, boundaries are essential. Boundaries help in maintaining a sense of self.  Love should support you towards self-improvement and mental stability, not take you further away from it.

Preserving your individuality in a relationship avoids developing codependency, which is a toxic behavior that sacrifices your needs to please others. Boundaries in a relationship also ward off feelings of resentment and bitterness. When boundaries are crossed too far and too often, your partner may feel like they no longer have control.

Remember that a relationship should involve a healthy balance of power between the two parties. Don’t let your relationship have an asymmetric power play as this imbalance could lead to toxic or manipulative behavior.

Someone Who Can Lift Your Spirits Up


Self-esteem is also fundamental when taking care of your mental health. You may feel at times that you are inadequate, hopeless, replaceable, or even useless.

But the truth is, those feelings are just a result of your mental health issues. Having a partner to provide you with an external perspective helps you grounded to the reality of your situation.

However, you should remember that your partner is not your therapist or psychiatrist. Seeing them as superheroes who can always save you from a bad day is also dangerous to both of you. Improving your mental health means working on yourself.

Do not expect too much from your partner because they, too, are only human. Too high expectations from them could result in codependency behavior. Instead, build your emotional strength and ask for their support.


Commitment involves the ability to give and to receive. So in the relationship, you are looking for, you are not just a receiver, but also a giver. Try to achieve these traits to provide your partner with someone who is also beneficial for their mental health.

Remember that these qualities are not just for those with mental health disorders. These are also for everyone who wants to keep their mental health in good shape while in a relationship.

If you are already in a relationship and are struggling to care for your mental health, seek help. You may consult counselors or relationship therapists to help you improve your bond with your partner.

Why Your Dating Life Should Wait Until After The Pandemic


While growing up, my parents have always told me to “collect and select.” Not books, comics, jewelry, or anything of that sort, to be honest. Instead, they are talking about the men I date.

Mom used to say, “The first guy you will go out with is not always your last love. It’s great if you meet your soulmate on your first try, but keep your heart and mind open unless it doesn’t happen.”

I guess I listened to my folks a little too well since I am still single at the age of 30. I did have dates and boyfriends who I thought were “the one”; they merely ended up as nothing but parts of my colorful life. Then, the pandemic came and stopped everyone’s activities, including my plans for finding a partner. 


Now that the quarantine has been lifted at the time of writing, though, I am not too eager to get back on the dating wagon. Please don’t think that I have lost hope on love—I have not. I believe that dating can wait until after the pandemic because:

The Enemy Is Still Out There

Yes, you heard that correctly: the enemy—a.k.a. Coronavirus—remains at large. There is no cure for COVID-19, which means that no one knows how to kill the virus. You can’t even find a vaccine yet, so it seems impossible to shield yourself from it. 

Imagine how much trouble you will undoubtedly get into if you insist on going out and catch the coronavirus. Your life is now in danger, and you have put your loved ones and your new date at the risk of having the same disease since you’ve been around them.


You Can’t Go Out On Proper Dates

A proper date in my book consists of having dinner at a fine-dining restaurant and drinking at the bar. If the night is still young, the club is always open.

However, none of that is doable when the entire world is dealing with a pandemic. The quarantine period is over, yes, but bars and clubs are not supposed to re-open yet. Dining out is also prohibited at this time, so your options include inviting a stranger to your home or taking out food and eating it in the car. Neither sounds good, I know.

It’s A Bit Scary To Be Near A Stranger

Although people no longer need to stay at home 24/7, the government still mandates us to maintain a social distance from each other. It seems ideal when you are grocery shopping or crossing the street, but you can’t be on a date and put a meter or two of space between you and the other person. That will not be romantic or sexy at all.


If I am honest, I think it is scary to be near a stranger right now. You don’t know who they have been hanging out with during quarantine or where they have been. They can claim to be safe from the coronavirus, but how can you guarantee that without test results? It is awkward to require your date to do rapid testing before your first meeting, so it’s best to put it off for a while. 

Final Thoughts

I understand why some individuals cannot wait until this pandemic is over before they start dating again. Loneliness and fear of dying without building a family can activate your anxiety and make you feel like going out there is the best idea. Despite that, you can’t be too comfortable now that the quarantine has been lifted—many COVID-19 patients are asymptomatic, and they may be lurking all over town. You will only be able to evade the coronavirus by physically distancing yourself from everyone, including your potential date.

Good luck!


Tips For Lovers Not Quarantined Together

When you go on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram l, or any other online platform, you will see videos and photos of couples who are on home quarantine. Husbands and wives cook and bake for each other; boyfriends and girlfriends have fun together. But no matter how good this isolation is for a lot of relationships, the media contents do not represent the reality that other couples need to face during these trying times.


If you dive deeper into the said platforms, it will become apparent that many couples are forced to stay apart because of the pandemic. Some cannot visit their infected partner at the hospital; others have gotten locked down at different places. For sure, they can FaceTime or Skype with each other, but the physical distance must be brutal.

Here are a few tips to help your relationship survive even after the COVID-19 outbreak.

Think Positive Thoughts
The first thing you should do is fill your head with positive thoughts. I know it is crazy—scary even—to think of possibly acquiring the coronavirus or working from home for months. Not having your better half nearby can make it even worse. However, you are not helping yourself or your loved one who is far away by thinking like this.

In case positive thoughts do not come naturally to you, I recommend listening to upbeat songs every day. Crank up your speaker volume as soon as you wake up and tune into feel-good music. The happy tunes can make you forget your worries for a little while.


You can also stay away from the news if that messes up your psyche. You already know not to leave the house until a specific time; watching the number of patients go up cannot be suitable for you.

Find Ways To Bond With Each Other
One of the many things that you can do with your partner despite your distance is starting a Netflix party. It practically means choosing one movie that you want to watch. Then, you install the Netflix Party app and hit the Play button so that both of you will see it. Even though you are not sitting or lying next to each other, you are still technically watching a movie together.

Another thing that I have seen some couples do is create Tik Tok videos for each other. Assuming you are unaware of it, Tik Tok is a video-sharing platform where people post random clips of them dancing, cooking, singing, dubbing, etc. Signing up to this channel can bring the goofiness out of you, which may have attracted your partner in the first place.

Do Something Sweet For Your Love
One celebrity news that I recently read about was that of Kristen Bell dancing outside of her husband Dax Shepard’s room with their two kids. At the time, the actor had to self-quarantine for 14 days after coming back from a trip. Seeing Kristen Bell do that in public shows how much she must care for her spouse.


Now, you may try pulling the same trick if your partner lives a few blocks from your place. But if you can’t, you can always have something delivered to their doorstep. E.g., their favorite food, home essentials, gifts, etc. Doing so can cheer them up, without a doubt.

Final Thoughts
I know you wish for this pandemic to end not only to have your old life back but also to see your special someone again. Unfortunately, not even the experts can tell how long we all need to remain quarantined to keep the coronavirus from spreading. To compensate for the lack of hugging and spending quality time with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, therefore, why don’t you try the tips above?

How You Can Make Online Dating Work For You


These days, digital technology is utilized for almost anything. From shopping, studying, seeking a psychologist to talk with, and even to finding a date. It’s been years since online dating became popular, and I bet that just like me, there came the point in your life when you’ve tried it too!

One fact about finding a date online is that it may not work for some, but for others it does. But if you think about it, so does the normal type of dating, right? It doesn’t work for everybody. So why not try it out and perhaps tweak some stuff on your online profile. Let’s see if things are going to go your way when you make your second, third, or nth attempt!


Be Truthful

Being truthful is probably one of the most vital things that you want to do. Don’t over or even under-describe yourself on your profile. A lot of people can distinguish a liar from someone who’s not. Hiding what you have materially for personal reasons can make a pass, but lying about the life you’ve had and what you are now is a no-no. Eventually, your inconsistencies will get the better of you. Just be truthful about who you are from the very beginning.

Make It Short But Sweet

Don’t write a very long and over-descriptive profile. Whoever it is that likes your photo and plans to know more about you must do so at first glance. If you wrote a personal description that’s 1000 words or more, most online visitors will surely just pass on you without bothering to finish reading. To them, you were just another probable candidate who didn’t make it to their list. So keep in mind that short, sweet, and concise is the way to go for written descriptions. They’ll be more interested and curious to discover more about who you are.

Be Original

All types of people, even the unauthentic ones, are undeniably attracted to individuals who know how to be original. Of course, we all want someone who is not fond of imitating other people, right? You will always have something to say without following other people’s posts. For example, just because it’s popular, you don’t have to write ‘life is a box of chocolates.’ It’s okay to write ‘working my ass off because I’m a go-getter.’ Say what you want and how you feel. It’s true; it’s catchy and very effective.


Choose Sociable And Relatable Hobbies

Let’s face it. Anyone who joins a social network wants to socialize or else why would he be there? If someone tells you they’re not there for socialization purposes, then mark an X on your mental list. He’s not being truthful. Additionally, when you’re writing down your hobbies, choose those that are associated with socializing, like traveling and making new friends or watching movies, not playing spirit of the glass or having me time with the devil, or else online dating will most likely not work for you.

Take Time To Edit

Typos or incorrect grammar and tense choices may be a turnoff for someone who is a book or movie lover. And besides, it would be sad to think that your childhood crush may have been interested in you if not for the typo you didn’t get to correct. I know this may sound exaggerating but in reality, there are people who just so challenging to impress. So only because you don’t want to have regrets, remember to edit before finally posting your online profile.

Don’t Be Vague

Being vague about yourself online may reflect negatively on your personality. Be someone precise and vivid even in the things that you like. For instance, don’t say ‘I like chilling’ or ‘I love the outdoors.’ Why don’t you say ‘I love rock climbing and hiking’ or ‘I am a beach lover?’ Be more specific so that your online viewers will know whether or not they will pursue you.

Update And Stay In The Game

It is important to keep your online viewers updated of your profile. If you took a recent photo that’s way better than what you posted, then go ahead and change it. It’s okay as long as you don’t sound narcissistic and post a full update about how awesome you look. Also, it would be nice if you update your hobbies and interests. That way, you want to do something new every once in a while.


Reply As Soon As You Can

Lastly, I cannot stress this enough. If you’re really into finding someone for real online, then please reply as soon as possible. Check your account every day for new viewers and new messages. Show them that you’re not just visible because everybody else is. Be online regularly, so others will know that you care and you deserve a chance. Good luck!




Why Good Relationship Becomes Bad


There are lots of pain and struggles when you are in a romantic relationship. There are chances when it’s not going your way; you’ll develop a sense of self-hate. There’s too much pressure, anxiety, and toxicity to handle. It makes you overthink about things. Sometimes, it even makes you feel bad about yourself and often ends up in depression and isolation. There are worse cases that the relationship causes devastation and exhaustion. You often feel dependent on it that it ruins your mental and emotional function. There are tons of underlying reasons why romantic relationships go wrong. These include cheating, resentment, dishonesty, and distrust. All of these stuff buildups can potentially become a massive conflict in the long run.

How You Often Look At Relationships

Certainly, there are several relationships out there that may seem to end early. However, due to some reasons, some couples want to stick around, live with it, and try their best to make things work. That’s even if against all the odds. Perhaps it’s your relationship that feels like crumbling, and you sacrificed a lot already. Maybe it’s because of the mindset you have that “relationship” is one of the essential things in the world. That if you can perhaps make it work, there will be an assurance of happiness. Though that is quite acceptable, it’s not always the case.


I’m not saying that having a relationship is not at all satisfying and life fulfilling, because it is. It brings excellent lessons that help you grow and develop into someone who you’re supposed to be. However, when there’s too much leaning on other human beings, when there’s too much dependency on what you think is the essential thing in living, you’ll get trapped in it. You’ll begin to wind up on the floor when that particular relationship is not going to sustain balance.

Leaning too heavily in the relationship will eventually lead to the computation of flaws. Meaning, there’s going to be an aim for perfection. That even though the other person who enters your life is also damaged, you’ll still demand something more than what he can offer. It’s sad that people assume their better half is going to be the one who will save them from despair. They often forget that perhaps that individual also needs someone in his life to complete him. The thing about relationship is it relies on “what you can offer” rather than “what you can give.” Not all, but most romantic relationships are selfish and unrealistic.

The Unthinkable

Often, people use long-term relationships as a validation of their capability. Some couples become too boastful when they think their relationship is better than others. They often look at themselves superior and knowledgeable compared to those who didn’t go through hundreds of ups and downs. Maybe that’s right. Perhaps you can agree to that. However, you should always have to remember that even if couples choose to stay together for more years, it is not a constant validation that they are growing and becoming a better version of themselves. That’s because, in a relationship, you don’t prove anything unless you can positively contribute something to yourself and let alone to your partner. You don’t assume that yours is way better than the others because everyone runs their lives differently.


Another reason why good relationships turn bad is due to too much expectation. A lot of people who are in a commitment for too long pretty much assume they already know their partners. But do they? The buildup of this kind of mentality is removing the essence of understanding and accepting each other’s unwanted characteristics. As a result, the couple’s differences become a valid reason for the relationship that didn’t work. The failed commitment will soon make people feel unworthy because the romantic relationship did not give them the expected feeling of worthiness.

Direct experiences in your life often get overshadowed by the things you want to believe. You often forget that the inescapable key to happiness is getting involved with the person that completes you. Yes, there’s going to be bumps and troubles on every relationship, but it will still end in a happily ever after. As long as you look at things in both ways, there’s always a better way of keeping it.

When it’s time to say Goodbye


At some point, most of us have been in that kind of relationship where we are wondering whether to let go or still hold on. We are confused as to the direction the relationship is taking us, and we just don’t know whether to walk away or keep holding on, hoping that things will get better. Relationships normally go through high and low moments and in those moments, it’s hard to be sure of where you stand in the relationship.

There are times in your relationship when you feel like it’s no longer worth it. Trying to make it work just begins to feel like a waste of time, and you begin to wonder if it’s time to say goodbye.

You look at your partner, and you just don’t feel the love anymore. All the admiration you have for them is gone, and you just don’t want to be with them anymore. Or maybe it isn’t you. Maybe it’s them, with their refusal to put in more effort. You realize that they have been taking you for granted, you no longer feel as if they love you anymore, all the nice things they did for you in the past seems like it happened in your past life. The way they treat you now makes you feel worthless and unloved. You just begin to feel like it’s time to move on.

Continue reading When it’s time to say Goodbye

Is He Boyfriend Material?


When women date, most of them (including me) would hope that their dates would flourish into wonderful and lasting relationships. Well, at first it would seem that they just want to have fun and have somebody to show off to their friends or their exes. Then when the first date becomes the second and the third, a flicker of hope begins to grow into them, yearning as always that this date is THE ONE.

And why wouldn’t he be? He’s handsome, especially when he smiles with his eyes. He’s so much fun to be with, he’s totally awesome with your friends, and he seems to be all over you! What’s there not to hope?


But what about the little things? Have you noticed his small habits or his unlikely mannerisms? What about the way he talks to you? Is he gentle or do you sense a tinge of sarcasm in his voice that he so tries to hide?

Here are a few warning signs that you should watch out for so you’ll know that your date is not boyfriend material after all.

Warning Signs That He’s Not Boyfriend Material

He postpones your dates and his activities are suspicious. It’s one thing to be late on a date, but it’s a big turn-off if he keeps on making excuses not to push through with one. When he says he can’t make it tonight because something important came up or that there’s an emergency at work, you better think twice, girl.

A shady person almost always cannot be trusted. It only means he won’t be there when you need him to be – or it just wouldn’t matter to him if you spend anniversaries alone.

He wants to change the way you are. When your date looks at you as if you’re perfect with those small side flabs and tiny freckles on your face, then you can consider holding on to him. But if he were someone who tells you there’s no way that he would tolerate his girl gaining weight and not lifting those weights, please tell him to be on his way.

Of course, it’s always good to be each other’s inspiration with everything, but when it seems as if you need to change something just to meet his standards, that is way beyond just wanting what’s best for you but what’s desirable to him.

He’s dating another girl but he tells you he’s more into you. If you think that’s flattering, think again. This doesn’t only show that he’s not committed but also that he’s not sure what he wants. He may want you today but tomorrow he might tell you he’s with Cathy and he finally decided she’s the one for him. So what do you do?

Of course, don’t give him the chance to treat you like he’s the one who dumped you. Dump him first and simply tell him, “You don’t deserve me.”

He badmouths his ex and tells you things that he shouldn’t have divulged to anyone in the first place. Being a gentleman is one of the best assets of a man, and backbiting an ex is certainly not the most gentlemanly thing to do. A guy who says something negative about his ex to you might give you the sense that he hasn’t really gotten over his ex – which could actually be true!

Also, some guys are so hung up with being hurt from their past relationships that they keep on complaining about how bad relationships can get. You have got to watch out for men like these. They spew negativity even before the two of you could even start. Don’t let this guy move on to date number two. Believe me. It’s better that way.

What I think

I guess out of the many red flags that I’ve read about men, these are some of the most important, all of which I do agree upon. Let’s hope we get to meet guys who are committed to making us happy and inspire us to be better but allow us to be ourselves.




Turning One-Night Stands Into Great Relationships


You wake up with a pounding headache and the smell of your sheets – no, not your sheets – because you’re in someone else’s house!


You partied hard last night and you got so bombed you have only vague memories of mostly everything. You remember dancing with a cute guy – the one you were sharing tables with. You kissed while you danced and – well that was the most you can recall.

As you lay there not moving and couldn’t actually move because you don’t know where to go, you are filled with regret that you had too much to drink. You reach for your clothes on the floor and very quietly, you get into them, slip out of the room and head straight home without looking back. What happened was a one-night stand and will stay that way – at least as far as you know.

But come to think of it. If he calls and asks for a date, would you consider it? Perhaps you could give it a try, just to know how it really went that night – if you’re up to it – just to see if there’s chemistry between the two of you after all.

Not All One-Night Stands Don’t Work

In a recent study done by, they found that 27% of females turned their one-night stands into great relationships. This is to say that after being with someone you just met and talked with for a few hours and getting into bed with him quickly after, won’t necessarily mean no good will come out of it always. It means that some people who had one-night stands attempted to call or text each other to see if they were compatible with some things other than sex.

Planning to call or text after that fateful night is not easy, though. The awkwardness will be evident in the long silence between your conversations and the laughs that are almost obligatory. When you both decide to meet for the second time, it’ll be unusual to see each other in your clothes, as you seem to have forgotten that night before you went to bed. But when you get over that part, you’d be surprised that your conversations will be enjoyable and fun. You’ll have a lot to talk about because you’re actually still getting to know each other.


There have been a lot of testimonials from couples who started their relationships from one-time casual sex. They admitted that before you could see something special in a one-night stand, you should be able to get through that night and decide what to do in the morning – if you’re willing to wait for your date to wake up and talk about having breakfast together, to be open for a second date if he calls – or if you call – and if you decide that you don’t want to pursue it after all.

Although one-night stands have a negative reputation, more and more single men and women of today reveal that their current blooming relationships didn’t start the usual way. They never thought they’d end up with their partners now, but they did. It really is possible. That someone you spent the night with could be the one you’re going to spend your life with.

Here’s an excerpt of a one-night stand gone special:

“While traveling, I stayed in a hostel in Australia. One night, I met Sam, who was staying there too. We drank, flirted and ended up in a bunk bed in an empty dorm. I snuck back to my room, but the next day he came to ask if I wanted to hang out. We ended up traveling together, and seven and a half years on, we’re married.” Jean, 27