Insecurities can sometimes get the worst out of a person. It may sometimes lead to jealousy, unnecessary fights, and misunderstandings. Breakups may also happen when it gets worse.
There are many things to do when you constantly feel trapped with this emotion. Here are some of the guidelines that will help you towards changing your inner dilemma.
Learn to be Confident of Yourself
Projecting your lack of self-esteem to the relationship can become dangerous in the long run. Your partner might have an impression that the relationship cannot become sustainable for years to come. In addition, your partner might feel constrained and chained by the insecurities that you are letting to freely flow.
Dealing with insecurities should start within you. There has to be something inside you that needs to change and adjust. Most of the time, it involves an issue of self-confidence. Learn to know that you are a wonderful person that is worth your partner’s love and affection. Try to exercise having the skill of being proud of yourself both as an individual and as a partner for your special someone.
Keep a Trusting Stance Over Anything
Trusting your partner over things that you would normally be suspicious of can prove to be extremely difficult. You may find it hard to trust them when they are going on week-long vacation trips with their friends. You may also find it uneasy to let them go on a business dinner with another person of the opposite sex.
In these events, you just have to remember that you are a couple for a reason. Both of you have committed in a relationship that demands not just faithfulness, but also trust. A healthy relationship is a two-way street. It should provide both of you with happiness and love that flows in two directions.
Remember the Reasons of Your Love
Insecurities in a relationship will be lessened by keeping in mind why you committed yourself to the partnership in the first place. Is it because of his/her eyes? Is it because of his/her physical attributes? Is it because of the promise of a relationship that will last a lifetime?
Knowing these reasons will give you the strength to hold on to your inner confidence with the relationship. It will also help you avoid unnecessary and unreasonable quarrels that should not be happening in the first place. It will even give your relationship a boost when it’s getting boring and stagnant. Remember that “your partner’s drifting patience [with reassuring you] can mean you are leaning too heavily on them and not doing enough for yourself,” as what Alicia H Clark, PsyD, PLLC says.
Have a Patient, Loving Heart
According to Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin MS, LCPC, “trust issues are developed from pain in prior relationships.” With that, being constantly insecure and jealous will make you a hard-hearted individual in the long run. Just imagine when your partner wants you to tell something positive, but you ended up focusing on something suspicious within the story.
This is not an isolated case. Partners who have become insecure with their relationship have often ended up being in the relationship just for the sake of the idea of it. Keeping an understanding, loving, and patient heart will provide the two of you with happiness that will make you even remember the feelings that you had when you two were still dating.
Being assured of the relationship is the primary antidote to insecurity. However, it takes time and effort on your part to perfectly utilize this cure. Once you learned how to feel secured, it will give you and your partner the happiness that both of you deserve. “Feeling jealous at some point is totally normal,” says Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., LMFT. But it should limit itself to some extent.