I met my boyfriend, Adam, in a dating app. At first, I was hesitant to use it because of all the scary stuff that you hear about “weirdos” and “jerkboys” in these free social connection sites. But my friend advised me to get a membership and pay the monthly dues. It is highly likely that I find someone with a credit card (meaning he has work) since he will be using it to pay for the monthly fee, as well.
And so, my hunt for the “it” guy began. Swipe left for NO, and swipe right for YES. I did that on the first day and was matched with tons of guys. I even had a hard time talking to all of them because they would all message me at the same time. This was not working out for me, back then, and so I had to make a change.
I filtered my matches by choosing the YES guys. This started the person’s age, and I wanted someone between 25-35 years old. I had to say goodbye to at least seven guys but retained two who were a bit older but nice on the first chat.
Next, I had to filter more and crossed out those without jobs. I’m sorry, but it’s a vital thing for me. It’s not that I don’t see unemployed men as unattractive (wow, quadruple negation), but I want someone who has a purpose each day. If that purpose is to go to their work, then, I’m good with that. I did leave one guy who was an artist and didn’t really have a day job but sold his artworks online and through shows. He was very passionate about his craft and engaging to talk to whenever we had the chance.
After further filtering, I was left with 23 guys to chat with daily. Jeez, why is it so hard to do? I still can’t talk to 23 guys. The number has to go down to at least 6. And so, I scratched more YES guys.
One’s appearance wasn’t an issue for me because I wanted someone intelligent and great in conversations. From there, I chucked at least half of the guys. Some were hot and yummy, but that’s all there is to them. No substance, and always asking if I want to meet up. No, dude. Not yet. I have to do this right and eradicate the F-boys from my list.
After five days in this dating app, and from over 40 YES guys, I had 11 left on my list. Still a lot, but I worked from that. Each day, I was able to relieve one guy – we didn’t have the chemistry, we didn’t have the rapport, we didn’t agree on important issues, and we didn’t click until I was left with three mentally-engaging men with work that are important to them, and me, who seems to be interesting for them.
They didn’t force me for a meetup, which was a good thing. Also, I didn’t hear (or read) them say things like “your place, or mine,” “how about some fun,” or “wanna do it.” These were men who went to dating sites to meet women like me.
After a month of talking, I went on a date with each one of them – clean fun, and just a goodbye peck on the cheek. It was very fulfilling. I canceled my subscription since I have three guy friends who gave me their numbers and wanted to see me again for a “friendly” get together. Adam was one of them.
I will never regret all the things I did, the waiting, and the process. Love is not to be rushed, and if you are looking for someone worthy of your love, you have to take the time. Otherwise, go on and have fun. But then again, would you like to stay with an F-boy?