When women date, most of them (including me) would hope that their dates would flourish into wonderful and lasting relationships. Well, at first it would seem that they just want to have fun and have somebody to show off to their friends or their exes. Then when the first date becomes the second and the third, a flicker of hope begins to grow into them, yearning as always that this date is THE ONE.
And why wouldn’t he be? He’s handsome, especially when he smiles with his eyes. He’s so much fun to be with, he’s totally awesome with your friends, and he seems to be all over you! What’s there not to hope?
But what about the little things? Have you noticed his small habits or his unlikely mannerisms? What about the way he talks to you? Is he gentle or do you sense a tinge of sarcasm in his voice that he so tries to hide?
Here are a few warning signs that you should watch out for so you’ll know that your date is not boyfriend material after all.
Warning Signs That He’s Not Boyfriend Material
He postpones your dates and his activities are suspicious. It’s one thing to be late on a date, but it’s a big turn-off if he keeps on making excuses not to push through with one. When he says he can’t make it tonight because something important came up or that there’s an emergency at work, you better think twice, girl.
A shady person almost always cannot be trusted. It only means he won’t be there when you need him to be – or it just wouldn’t matter to him if you spend anniversaries alone.
He wants to change the way you are. When your date looks at you as if you’re perfect with those small side flabs and tiny freckles on your face, then you can consider holding on to him. But if he were someone who tells you there’s no way that he would tolerate his girl gaining weight and not lifting those weights, please tell him to be on his way.
Of course, it’s always good to be each other’s inspiration with everything, but when it seems as if you need to change something just to meet his standards, that is way beyond just wanting what’s best for you but what’s desirable to him.
He’s dating another girl but he tells you he’s more into you. If you think that’s flattering, think again. This doesn’t only show that he’s not committed but also that he’s not sure what he wants. He may want you today but tomorrow he might tell you he’s with Cathy and he finally decided she’s the one for him. So what do you do?
Of course, don’t give him the chance to treat you like he’s the one who dumped you. Dump him first and simply tell him, “You don’t deserve me.”
He badmouths his ex and tells you things that he shouldn’t have divulged to anyone in the first place. Being a gentleman is one of the best assets of a man, and backbiting an ex is certainly not the most gentlemanly thing to do. A guy who says something negative about his ex to you might give you the sense that he hasn’t really gotten over his ex – which could actually be true!
Also, some guys are so hung up with being hurt from their past relationships that they keep on complaining about how bad relationships can get. You have got to watch out for men like these. They spew negativity even before the two of you could even start. Don’t let this guy move on to date number two. Believe me. It’s better that way.
What I think
I guess out of the many red flags that I’ve read about men, these are some of the most important, all of which I do agree upon. Let’s hope we get to meet guys who are committed to making us happy and inspire us to be better but allow us to be ourselves.