The World of Dating
I’ve asked a lot of my male friends what they would really do to get to date a woman. Most of them actually surprised me when they said that they would do mostly anything for their woman to date them – or to have sex with them. Meaning, women won’t know if they’re in it for the marriage or merely for getting them to bed.
That got me to thinking, “So how would I know if my guy’s not playing with my feelings? And if he is, what the are warning signs?”
Dating is something that most of us want for many reasons. The most important, I think, would be to find a person who can stay with us and create a wonderful relationship with us for a long time. The other reasons are solely for passing time – sex, to fill up lonely space, for a rebound love, and all that.
It would be appropriate then to say that dating is a great way to test the waters. What does that mean? Testing the waters means trying to confirm your doubts about a certain person, or simply dating a person to know if he’s really what he says he is.
How to Test the Waters
There are several ways of confirming your date’s real character, his real feelings, and his real intentions. But first you need to decide which ones you should retain for a while and which ones should go after the first date. Then you can ‘sift’ the ones that have potential and the ones that are your type and you just need to know if he’s really into you for the right reasons.
- Check on your date’s manners. I know we all have our list of things our date has to be or have, but manners is something that doesn’t need to be written – it should be a given. And how he treats you is not the only thing you should watch out for, but how he treats others. I believe a man’s target is to impress his woman, but I am actually more impressed when he is naturally kind and nice to other people, even to the waiter or the old woman crossing the street.
- Perhaps you can observe his body language. There are many things you can find out just by noticing the way he acts around you. If all he does on your dates is stare at you and show you some kinky moves like running his hands through your back or holding you in a flirty kind of way, then his mind is most probably set on having sex with you. Look for the soft spots, like walking ahead of you to open the door for you and sitting across you because he wants to look at you when you’re talking – not touch you every few minutes. Most importantly, give a big point to the guy who kisses you on the cheek – not on the lips – when he brings you home. That is a winner.
- Try talking about some serious issues with him, like what he thinks about marriage and how he wants to go about with the finances, stuff like those. You can even get into a healthy discussion and maybe refute him on some things that you find unsuitable for you. Try to provoke him to test his patience. Besides, this is what testing the waters really means. If he gets irritated or elusive, you might have to think twice about him.
Patience and sincerity are two values that you ought to look for in your guy. All relationships go through challenges, and if he’s impatient, he might also have some anger issues that you’re going to have to deal with.
Dating should be Fun Yet Personal
Don’t get me wrong. You need to have fun when you’re dating. However, you also have to make it a personal thing. Don’t get used to dating just to ‘date.’ I make it a point that I date a guy that I have positive first impressions for, because then I’ll know that I’m heading towards the right track.
If you’re having trouble looking for serious guys to date – the sincere, patient, and loving ones – BetterHelp can guide you in finding the healthy and effective solutions with their service that will connect you with a therapist online. They also have professional counselors who are available to talk with you online, if you think you ever need one.