It sucks when someone judges you. That’s exactly my thought whenever I see a crowd of three or four adults looking at a girl going inside a bank with skimpy shorts and a tattered shirt. I’d think, “Hey, leave her be, will you?” Who says great people always wear ties?
And that’s exactly what I think when I go on my first date. I don’t mind him wearing a classic Guns N’ Roses shirt and sneakers, as long as he smells good. And I wouldn’t care if he loves red, but please just let it be his boxers!
But really, what do you look for in your date? Do you have an official list that you check every time you go out hoping to find the man of your dreams? Does he have to be formal so your parents will do the thumbs up right away? Or he’s got to have that spic and span look so you can show him off to your friends?
The Traits I Want in a Date
My guy friends have often wondered why I look for some of these traits in my dates, but I actually don’t know why myself. And even if I’ve had a number of failed relationships, I can’t seem to change my ‘What I Want” list. Here goes.
- He has got to have great teeth – and a mouth that smells really good. I know. Always a head turner a man with white teeth, right? But here’s my twist: I don’t really like men with very white teeth but a set that’s generally not crooked (you know what I mean?). Do you sometimes notice a guy who’s gorgeous when he’s frowning, but when he smiles and the teeth show, you’re scared he might bite a piece of your lip when you kiss? No way, not those teeth.
- I like it better when he looks simple with those shorts and shirt, but he’s as smart as a banker or a company executive. I don’t want me and my family to be intimidated by his looks, and I’ve always liked simple. It amazes me how when I get to talk to a man I share a table within a coffee shop, he has more to say about stock exchange or living healthy than someone with the tuxedo and talking about how great his car is.
- I love it when my date can laugh at his mistakes. Yes, that’s a turn-on for me. I’ve been insecure for so many years and I hated it when I’d do something wrong and I would get embarrassed I would almost cry. My self-esteem was way down low, and ever since I got through that phase and gained confidence (not too long ago), I prefer to go out with people who would not pull me down but rather encourage me to be myself, because he is being himself as well. Isn’t it a pretty sight – us both laughing at ourselves?
- I’m not into the guy with the perfect face, just eyes that talk. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows of the soul’ is very true for me. I always try to make eye contact when I ask my date something personal. Most of the time, I know when there’s something he’s not telling me. A therapist in the area (or online here: betterhelp.com/start/ once told me that when someone’s lying, he blinks more rapidly than usual, or he looks the other way. I always try that technique and it does work!
- I am so into guys who love to play with kids – and with pets. I have a soft spot for a guy who is a natural with kids, someone whom kids follow wherever he goes because they’re fond of him. I think they’re sensitive and loving.
On the other hand, I get turned off when my date picks me up in the house and ‘shoos’ my baby terrier. I think it’s absolute meanness – at least that’s for me.
I have always found it convenient for me to make a list of what I want in a date. It’s easier to sift who to say no right at the door or who to give a second thought. It’s only fair for the guy to know if you’re into him or not. Dating is a wonderful thing, especially when you are with someone that matches perfectly on your list.