There are lots of pain and struggles when you are in a romantic relationship. There are chances when it’s not going your way; you’ll develop a sense of self-hate. There’s too much pressure, anxiety, and toxicity to handle. It makes you overthink about things. Sometimes, it even makes you feel bad about yourself and often ends up in depression and isolation. There are worse cases that the relationship causes devastation and exhaustion. You often feel dependent on it that it ruins your mental and emotional function. There are tons of underlying reasons why romantic relationships go wrong. These include cheating, resentment, dishonesty, and distrust. All of these stuff buildups can potentially become a massive conflict in the long run.
How You Often Look At Relationships
Certainly, there are several relationships out there that may seem to end early. However, due to some reasons, some couples want to stick around, live with it, and try their best to make things work. That’s even if against all the odds. Perhaps it’s your relationship that feels like crumbling, and you sacrificed a lot already. Maybe it’s because of the mindset you have that “relationship” is one of the essential things in the world. That if you can perhaps make it work, there will be an assurance of happiness. Though that is quite acceptable, it’s not always the case.
I’m not saying that having a relationship is not at all satisfying and life fulfilling, because it is. It brings excellent lessons that help you grow and develop into someone who you’re supposed to be. However, when there’s too much leaning on other human beings, when there’s too much dependency on what you think is the essential thing in living, you’ll get trapped in it. You’ll begin to wind up on the floor when that particular relationship is not going to sustain balance.
Leaning too heavily in the relationship will eventually lead to the computation of flaws. Meaning, there’s going to be an aim for perfection. That even though the other person who enters your life is also damaged, you’ll still demand something more than what he can offer. It’s sad that people assume their better half is going to be the one who will save them from despair. They often forget that perhaps that individual also needs someone in his life to complete him. The thing about relationship is it relies on “what you can offer” rather than “what you can give.” Not all, but most romantic relationships are selfish and unrealistic.
Often, people use long-term relationships as a validation of their capability. Some couples become too boastful when they think their relationship is better than others. They often look at themselves superior and knowledgeable compared to those who didn’t go through hundreds of ups and downs. Maybe that’s right. Perhaps you can agree to that. However, you should always have to remember that even if couples choose to stay together for more years, it is not a constant validation that they are growing and becoming a better version of themselves. That’s because, in a relationship, you don’t prove anything unless you can positively contribute something to yourself and let alone to your partner. You don’t assume that yours is way better than the others because everyone runs their lives differently.
Another reason why good relationships turn bad is due to too much expectation. A lot of people who are in a commitment for too long pretty much assume they already know their partners. But do they? The buildup of this kind of mentality is removing the essence of understanding and accepting each other’s unwanted characteristics. As a result, the couple’s differences become a valid reason for the relationship that didn’t work. The failed commitment will soon make people feel unworthy because the romantic relationship did not give them the expected feeling of worthiness.
Direct experiences in your life often get overshadowed by the things you want to believe. You often forget that the inescapable key to happiness is getting involved with the person that completes you. Yes, there’s going to be bumps and troubles on every relationship, but it will still end in a happily ever after. As long as you look at things in both ways, there’s always a better way of keeping it.